I spoke of lapses of doubt I meant doubt as to where I was going (in my own examples). That was what I meant by saying wherever you come out of thinking of what you want, I hope you are stronger for it. Emphasis on wherever you come out, like whatever decision you make. But since you are not having doubts, but just lack of time this is irrelevant. It’s not what I meant, but it’s not the case here so let’s leave it.

I didn’t need elaboration on the analogy. You were using the analogy to describe something that you believes occurs with Muslims or in Islam. Pls elaborate on THAT, as in specific instances, examples, etc.

I already gave an example in the post, but I’ll give another. Something else that’s weirded me out here in LA is people who focus their lives around money. How to make more, save more, and how to spend it. It’s easy to focus your life around this – we all need money to sustain our lives, and it’s smart to know how best to handle it. Likewise, work takes a lot of time and effort, and it’s easy to get wrapped up these kinds of details. But they’re just that in the long term – details. They are the details that help you to live your life and their important, but when you focus on them, your life becomes warped as your focus is in the wrong place.

Do I need to go into anymore detail with this analogy? Haven’t we all seen this somewhere – even if only on some ditzy show like the “Housewives of Orange County” or “Cribs”? Let me know if you need more description about this.

As for not having the time to “live as a muslim the way that I’d like”, this was more of an apology for not doing what I wanted to do on this blog. It looked there was a good amount of interest in the sectarian study I started a while ago, but I haven’t had anywhere near the time or stability to do that kind of research. Likewise, I just haven’t even had time to read, which is important to me. Hence the reference to “research but not reflection.” I can reflect in the car in trafic, when I waiting for whatever, etc. Really putting in the challenging work that I would like to, as a muslim, I haven’t been able to do.

I thought I understood your point but between the first post and then the reply comment I am confused. I thought u were saying one thing and now another.

I guess I too hastily interpreted “I’m sorry, my friends, but at this point in my life I do not have the time to live as a muslim the way that I’d like. ”

Elaborate on that?

I am not, however “in doubt” of anything. I wasn’t finding fault with Islam, my dear, I was finding fault with muslims. Or at least I suspect it is fault, but it’s hard to say because my own sense of purpose isn’t particularly strong at the moment.

btw, where does the phrase “Islam is a complete way of life” come from? Regardless, of course, that statement just confirms my idea that it is a way of life, not a life unto itself. Do you understand? Yes, Islam will have an impact on everything in your life, just like eating healthy would. But that doesn’t mean it should be the only thing in your life. It seems to me more like Islam is a safeguard and the best guidlines by which to live a life, not something that needs to be acknowledged in everything else you do because it’s just going to be there anyway. It’s inherent.

Oh, and btw, I find it offensive that you still seem to think I’m “slipping” or something ridiculous. Part of the reason I wanted a dialogue with you was so that you could find out where I am, not assume it.

I would like to become less and less dependent on this dunya. I want to supress my ego and work for and towards a greater good. To me, following the “food pyramid” of Islam helps me acheive God consciousness which helps me to achieve my goals and happiness in this life.

To those to whom Islam or any other chosen way of life becomes a burden, you must ask, why is it so? What is making it that way? So I understand where you are.

I would start to feel negatively about Islam and then I would start thinking about aspects of Islam in negative analogies (much like ur anorexic example). A personal example of mine would be that when I would feel bad about Islam and just trapped in it, my hijab would start to make me feel like I was a poodle. I felt I looked ridiculous, a big tall white girl trying to be a Muslim! Ha! What an idiot.

But I had to figure out what the root of this feeling was. Was it that I truly didn’t want to be Muslim? Or that Ididn’t want to be hijabi? Or something else?

I have had these lapses of doubt and I think that most people can come out of it stronger and better people. Inshallah that is how it will be with you my dear sis. No matter what side you come out on.

but yay. i hope ur bday was a happy one.

and i’m with you on the pinatas. now i want a pinata!

Anyway, some time ago I happened to come across a sufi book in a book store and I couldn’t stop reading it so I broke down and bought it. It made a point about separating “dunya” from spirituality and religion. It says:

“If you came to a scrossraods and the signs read: “This way to Life,” and “This way to God,” which way would you choose?

How many generations of honest people have been bewildered by this apparent dilemma, believing that the way to God lies in the opposite direction from a human life? How many people’s psychospiritual health has been undermined because they took the road away from their own humanity?

Can we imagine a spirituality that integrates the highest spiritual attainment with a fully lived human life? Is it possible that the realization of the Divine is the realization of complete humaness?”

~Kabir Helminski, “The Knowing Heart”

From what I know and understand, there is very little in the actual literature of Islam (Qur’aan and Hadith) that states that anyone should be sacraficing so many things for the sake of God where God doesn’t directly ask them to.

God has not directly asked me anywhere not to celebrate my birthday. Further, on that day I get to hear from all of my friends and family again, who in today’s world it’s hard to keep in touch with. It’s also a chance to reflect on life – and to just be happy.

And even if it were just a day to be happy, what’s so wrong with that?

Anyway, you’re right, and I think the whole birthday thing is just another aspect of the “arabization” of Islam and the result of a lot of fear and control issues.